Twitter poked the bear on Friday evening causing an uprising not seen in history after the tech giant suspended Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy’s account. The move was quickly reversed after they realized they don’t possess the power of a god to take on powerhouse Portnoy.
Portnoy’s account on Twitter @stoolpresidente, which has 2.5 million followers, was shut down with an “Account suspended” message attached, it was unclear what led to his suspension. But as you know Twitter hands out suspensions if you sneeze the wrong way.
A rumble was heard throughout planet Earth followed by a lightning strike on Jack Dorsey’s house. A mystery that cannot be explained. But we suspect it was Portnoy.
#FreeDavePortnoy began dominating Twitter. Cities burned to the ground. Planets exploded.
Less than two hours later, Portnoy’s suspension was lifted.
“I’m back,” Portnoy tweeted. He knew he would win.
Portnoy told Fox News in a statement: “The will of the people will be heard. #freeportnoy.”
A message if directed at you would send a thousand shivers down your spine. You’re basically dead.
When asked what led to the suspension, Portnoy said “I don’t know.”
A Twitter spokesperson said to Fox News, “We’ve no comment at this time however the account you reference has been reinstated.”
It’s as if Twitter just wants to pretend it didn’t happen. After all, they just stepped into the ring with Powerhouse Portnoy and he’s here to eat pizza and kick ass. And he just had some pizza.
