Too bad if you were excited about a “Shazam” series. DC Comics totally (insert f-word here) it up in the second one, “Shazam! Fury of the Gods.” Not to mention it bombed worse than a Biden speech at the box office.
I know right.
The first “Shazam!” movie, back in 2019, wasn’t too bad and had this mythical vibe going on. It was all about these three dudes who were each meant for totally different paths in life, all thanks to their parents (or lack thereof). Sure, it ended in the typical superhero street fight, but it didn’t feel like a cop-out – the real story was in the characters and their relationships.
Unfortunately, the latest flick in the DC Extended Universe is just plain shit. The lame subtitle, “Fury of the Gods,” sums it up pretty well – it’s not meant to be ironic. At this point, seeing “DC Comics” on a movie poster is like a warning sign telling you to stay far away.
SHE TAMED A DEMONIC UNICORN WITH SKITTLES!! F#*KING SKITTLES!
I’m sorry but I had to get that out.
WHY IS ZACHERY LEVI AS ‘SHAZAM’ ACTING WAAAAAY MORE IMMATURE THAN HIS YOUNGER TEENAGE SELF?
I’m sorry but…C’MON!
Having Helen Mirren and Lucy Lui as the villains didn’t matter. Performances were average at best. Helen was better than Lucy.
The final fight scene wasn’t impressive. I was bored as it seem to drag out for ages. I didn’t care Shazam died. I don’t care if that spoils it for anyone because it’s a dumb movie. I knew they would resurrect him again because the writers are just complete garbage. Then the movie kept going, they bring him back from the dead because Wonder Woman did a lightning thing or whatever. Finally, when it ended I was free to live my life again knowing I will never recoup those hours watching that trash.
Last year we found out that Shazam and Black Adam are linked by the same wizard who gave them their powers. Now they have something else in common – both of their movies are totally shit.
Plot
Ok, let’s do this…sooo
Two years after Thaddeus Sivana’s defeat, Hespera and Kalypso, two of the daughters of the Titan Atlas, break into the Acropolis Museum in Athens, Greece to steal the Wizard’s broken staff. They take it to the Wizard, imprisoned in the Gods’ Realm, and force him to repair the staff and reactivate its powers.
In Philadelphia, Billy Batson and his “Shazamily” of foster siblings save people on the collapsing Benjamin Franklin Bridge, but are called out for its destruction. The group is drifting apart at home as they grow up and having personal interests, particularly eldest girl, Mary, who resents that her secret life as a superhero has prevented her from going to college. Billy is worried about being kicked out of the Vasquez family when he “ages out” of the foster system. In a dream, the Wizard whose head appears on Wonder Woman’s body, because Shazam was dreaming he was on a date with her, warns Billy about the Daughters, prompting the Shazamily to begin researching them. So stupid.
Freddy Freeman, still being bullied at school, falls for a new girl named Anne, to whom he shows off his superhero self. Hespera and Kalypso arrive with the staff and steal Freddy’s powers, and Anne is revealed to be their youngest sister, Anthea. Billy and the Shazamily attempt to save Freddy, but the daughters kidnap him and place an indestructible dome around the city, trapping everyone inside. Freddy is imprisoned with the Wizard in the Gods’ Realm. The Daughters reveal that they want revenge because the Wizard killed their father.
Meanwhile, the Shazamily enter the Rock of Eternity, where they encounter a sentient pen named Steve, which they use to draft a letter to Hespera as a negotiation for Freddy’s release. Billy meets Hespera, and, while the meeting is initially cordial, she and Kalypso soon fight the Shazamily. Pedro loses his powers during the fight, while Hespera is captured and taken to the Rock. Hespera easily breaks out and steals the Golden Apple, the seed of the Tree of Life. Meanwhile, Freddy and the Wizard attempt to escape the Gods’ Realm with a sympathetic Anthea’s help, just as Hespera returns with the Apple. The Daughters argue as Hespera and Anthea want to use the Apple to revive their realm, while Kalypso wishes to plant it on Earth to destroy it. Freddy steals the Apple but is discovered. Billy and the Shazamily show up, and Freddy reacquires his powers.
Billy and the Shazamily emerge with the Wizard in the Vasquez home, where they reveal their secret identities to their foster parents. Kalypso appears with a dragon named Ladon to acquire the Apple. All but Billy lose their powers in the skirmish, while Kalypso retrieves the Apple and uses it to plant the Tree at Citizens Bank Park, which spawns monsters to attack the city. Hespera and Anthea object to their sister’s destructive plan, but Kalypso mortally wounds Hespera and de-powers Anthea. Billy, in despair, asks the Wizard to take back his powers, but the Wizard assures him he is a true hero who is worthy of them.
Heeding the Wizard’s words, Billy flies off to stop Kalypso, while the Shazamily enlists the help of unicorns using Skittles to fend off the other monsters.
I hate this movie…anyway.
As that’s happening, Billy persuades a dying Hespera to help him stop Kalypso. Realizing the dome reacts violently to his lightning, Billy lures Kalypso to the Park while Hespera shrinks the dome to contain them. Billy fights Kalypso and Ladon before killing them both by overloading the staff with electricity, destroying the Tree and Kalypso’s army with them, at the cost of his own life. Hespera acknowledges Billy as a true god before succumbing to her wounds.
Anthea takes Billy’s grieving family to the Gods’ Realm for his burial Wonder Woman appears and repairs the staff, imbuing it with her power and using it to revive the Gods’ Realm and Anthea’s powers, and to resurrect Billy. Billy in turn uses the staff to restore his siblings’ powers. The Shazamily rebuild their home while Anthea and the Wizard take up residence on Earth.
In a mid-credits scene, Emilia Harcourt and John Economos attempt to recruit Billy into the Justice Society on behalf of Amanda Waller. In a post-credits scene, a still-incarcerated Sivana encounters Mister Mind once again, infuriated that he has not begun enacting their plan.
Like I said Shazam! Fury of the Gods is a garbage stupid movie
